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*Surprise Encouragement*

4/23/20

Have you ever received an unexpected phone call from a person in your life and realized that you really needed that phone call? My cousin, Brandi, called me today. We do not talk as much as we used to and I admit that I really miss it. She is two hours away and we have grown apart. Our lives are quite different at the present time. Her oldest son is graduating high school this year and I couldn’t imagine being a Senior during a pandemic. I feel badly for him, though he seems to be doing okay and looking forward to going to college. I can tell he has a good head on his shoulders. I said some positive things to him on the phone before playing “catch up” with Brandi.
Anyway, my cousin and I got caught up on some stuff going on with her and she randomly said, “You know, Jenni, I was thinking about how you have always been such a good writer. I have always enjoyed the stories you have written and put up on Facebook, especially those about your dad.” As random as this was, it was really nice to hear. I NEEDED it. For some time now, I have been having doubts in my head about starting a blog and writing stories. I have been battling thoughts that I am not capable of producing good enough material for people to read. I needed to hear these words of encouragement. I needed to hear them because I want to at least give it a shot, and recently have gotten discouraged with my own self-doubt. Anxiety of the unknown and getting out of my comfort zone. It was so off topic for her to say this and that is why her words have stuck in my head. They were words I was meant to hear before I gave up and quit. Today, I hold my head high as I type this and I am so grateful for her phone call. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. It’s one of the best feelings to know someone else believes in you.

Thank you for your call, Brandi.

Question for my readers: Is there a time that you needed to hear encouraging words and they came from an unexpected source? How did these words help you?

*Spring Flowers*

4/21/20

Every April, my co-worker’s garden explodes with daffodils, which happen to be my favorite springtime flower. What a fun surprise to see her come into the office with a vase or mason jar full of these cheerful buds, on the verge of bloom. They bring a much-needed “pop” of color into the office setting. I feel like flowers are a such a morale booster! I find myself humming happily while typing away at the keyboard, looking over at my bouquet and enjoying the fresh scent. I am eager for the St. Paul Farmer’s Market where they sell the largest flower bouquets for under $10. I will have to pay back my co-worker’s act of kindness then. Until then, I will enjoy each day I have with the daffodils!

*Preparing for Heartache*

4/20/20

My precious pup, Rudy, will be 12 years old in June. In the past month or so, I have been noticing changes in his behavior and health. He is drinking a lot more water, barking to go outside to potty more frequently, and having spells of anxiety for what seems, at times, no reason at all. His eyes are becoming cloudy and he is sleeping more. A walk to the end of the street is now wearing him out when we used to go around the entire block.
This morning, I chatted with a co-worker who recently lost her beloved dog. She had to make that difficult decision to put her best friend to sleep, due to kidney failure. She was in tears and I can see it still hurts like it was just yesterday. She told me that her dog began having some of the same symptoms as Rudy a few months before she was put down. I began tearing up, knowing that Rudy’s time is limited. My gut and his most recent bloodwork results have already told me so.
I had a couple of good, healthy cry sessions today. One in the office with my co-worker. The second while holding Rudy right before our afternoon nap. It’s so tough to think that our best friends can’t live just a little bit longer. It’s even more tough to imagine my life without him. I think that is what hurts the most. He has been my best friend for going on 12 years. It’s going to hurt like hell.
I do not know that it is even possible to prepare for the heartache that will come. Yet, I don’t want to deny or ignore the inevitable. Today I gave my furry, four-legged best friend my word of honor. I promised to enjoy every day with him, as if it will be our last day together. I will practice patience and understanding. Lastly, I will not allow him to suffer. I will be there for him until the end, holding him at his last breath and be the last one in his eyes. It is the least I can do for a friend who has loved me unconditionally all these years. Loved me unconditionally, even at my worst. (Oh, and let the tears begin to fall!) Time for another cry.

Question for my readers: Have you ever tried to prepare yourself for losing something or someone you love? Did it change your perspective on life, in any way?

*Love in the Mail*

4/15/20

Things have been quiet around the house since the ‘Stay at Home Order’ went into place at the beginning of April. Work, then home. Home, then work. Grocery store trip for essentials. Repeat. I really miss outings, happy hours and dinners with my girlfriends, meeting up for walks, going to the mall to window shop and gab with a girlfriend while making laps, sitting in a coffee shop, or being able to visit my family for a dinner party or cookout. These are things I feel we have all taken for granted at times and it makes one appreciate them so much more. I am not one to talk on the phone, so I decided to write out cards and mail them to my closest friends and family that I miss very much. It felt good to write a positive, loving message for someone to read during this time. What a “lost art” cards in the mail are! And, it is so easy. Imagine the look of surprise when someone you know opens the mailbox and sees an envelope with fun stickers on a brightly colored envelope. Sure beats getting the usual bills or junk mail, right? I urge you to try it. There is someone you know that could use some cheering up. Spread some LOVE in the mail.

Question for my readers: When was the last time that you mailed out a hand-written card?

*Quarantine Birthday*

3/22/20

Today, I hosted my best friend, Stacy, for her birthday. We were supposed to meet up earlier this week, but because of the bar/restaurant shutdown, it didn’t work out. She has been a little down and lonely as of late, so I wanted to cheer her up. We had a wonderful time catching up (all while practicing social distancing, folks.) We had our first hamburgers on the grill (since last summer) and enjoyed a walk outside in the fresh air. What a nice visit under unusual circumstances.
I NEVER thought I would give the gift of toilet paper, but when there is a toilet paper shortage due to people hoarding supplies, a lovely gift it is to receive! (LOL! That is not all I gifted her, either.)
Cheers to making the best out of a time like this! I am so grateful for good friendship and laughter.

*Coronavirus Preparation*

3/17/20

I forgot it was St. Patrick’s Day today. The Coronavirus topic has taken over all conversations, newsfeeds and meetings at work. Honestly, I’m becoming overwhelmed by it all. And, just when I think I’m doing okay, I feel like my head is spinning and there is pressure on my chest from anxiety of the unknown. I feel badly for the people in the world who have lost their lives to this and the families that are missing them. I feel badly for the people whose businesses have to shut down temporarily and they are losing their income and cannot pay their bills or afford to feed their families. I dread what is to come, especially for my industry which will not shut down (package shipping/delivery) because we are an essential business. More than ever, people are relying on purchasing products online, shipping and delivery. I’m in a constant mental battle in my head of wishing I could stay home and protect my health and being grateful that I have job security, when others do not. What a difficult time for all.

*Trip to Grandma’s*

3/15/20

My sister and I took a quick road trip to visit my Grandma on her 78th birthday. It had been a stressful last week on her, as her better half, Norm, had been in and out of the hospital with pneumonia and had returned due to a blockage in his stomach or colon. It was extremely nerve-wracking on all who care for Norm, especially Gram. We weren’t sure what his outcome would be. My sister and I wanted to make her day as happy as possible, so we brought food, cake and presents. Then, we went up to the hospital for a quick surprise visit with Norm to see how he was doing.
While visiting in Norm’s room, we began asking his immediate nurse about preventative measures and post-hospital care. She decided to bring in the head nurse to answer all of our questions and give us any other information that we needed.
He was an attractive man. I noticed Grandma perk right up when he walked through the door. She wore a big smile on her face and tilted her head when he spoke as she held Norm’s hand. It was so cute! I was giggling the entire time. The nurse kept looking over at me, probably curious what I was up to.
Grandma leaned towards him when he spoke and when he paused, she began asking him questions unrelated to Norm’s condition. “Are you married? Do you have any children? How old are they?”
He smiled and answered each of her questions. “Yes, two kids, age 4 and 2, and they keep us on our toes!”
Grandma replied, “Don’t children say the DARNDEST things???” She waved her hand.
I couldn’t take it any longer. “So do the elderly!!!!” It slipped out in perfect timing and Gram turned to me suddenly, eyes wide, mouth open and nothing came out. Then, we all broke into laughter. Even Norm.
I looked out the large set of windows on the backside of the room. There was a beautiful blue sky with fluffy clouds and the sun was shining brightly. I stared for a few minutes, listening to the voices of the others talking softly behind me. It was at this time I embraced the positivity of the moment. I was so glad that we made the two-hour trek, just to spend a couple hours with Gram on her birthday and to surprise Norm. It would be a memorable 78th birthday with Norm in the hospital, but we made the best of it, under the circumstances.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.

*Earmuffs*

3/8/20

Today I went for another one of my long walks. The weather is warming up and feels refreshing, but it is just cool enough that I still like to wear my earmuffs and gloves. After I returned home, I took off my jacket and gloves. I began prepping dinner, humming to myself. I was in a great mood. What a beautiful afternoon.
My boyfriend, John, came out of the guest bedroom where we have a desk and he does his homework nightly. He is studying online for his Bachelor’s Degree. I could hear his voice, but it sounded muffled.
“What???” I reply. I hate when I can’t understand him or hear him correctly right away because he will look at me all annoyed and make sure to enunciate each word slowly, like I’m learning English for the first time.
“H-O-W W-A-S Y-O-U-R W-A-L-K????” he asked again. I want to slap him. Jokingly, of course.
“Oh, geez. SORRY. It was good. Put on three miles.”
“Why do you still have your earmuffs on?” John has a puzzled look on his face.
My hands shoot right to my ears and I feel the earmuffs. I realized I forgot to take them off after walking in the door. Well, no wonder I couldn’t hear a thing!
“Because I want to,” I reply with a devilish smile.
You want to know the truth? I’ve done this before. I don’t know what it is but after being out in the cold there’s something to be said about having warm, snugly ears. I’ve sat down on the couch for up to an hour with my earmuffs on, happily watching TV and sipping a glass of wine. (I am so laughing on the inside right now admitting this.)
Call me “special”. Call me “quirky”. There’s got to be something out of the ordinary that we each relish. I call them “simple pleasures”. Today, this made me laugh. I hope it made you laugh, too.

*Box*

2/27/20

As the office administrator, I order all of the supplies for my workplace, so it was no surprise when, yet another package was set outside the office door with my name on it. The fun part is, when I have so many orders coming in, sometimes I can’t even remember what the hell I ordered until I open it.
Today, there was a gigantic box. The kind of box that even adults (like me) think about building a fort out of or hiding in it. So, I ran to get my box cutter and sliced it open. The inner child in me quickly removed the three snow shovels, shoved them aside and hopped into the box and closed the flaps so I was in the dark. The best part is, I didn’t realize there were a couple of people watching me. As I opened the box and stood up, I spotted two guys some distance away out on the dock with big grins on their faces. I got out, gave them a quick wave and devilish smile and began dragging my prized box behind me into the office, where I planned on jumping out of this thing when people least expected it and scare the bejesus out of them.
I managed to get three people. Well, sort of. I wrangled one of my favorite co-workers, Junet, into handing over an invoice to an unexpecting victim, while she acted confused, asking if they were looking for a package we couldn’t find the owner of. Then, POW! Out of the box I would shoot. The first time I shot out sideways, busting out one entire side of the box. The second time, I was laughing so hard in the box with anticipation, that when my next victim walked up, he could see the box shaking and that gave me away. “Good Lord, Jen! Is that you in there?” Luke was all too aware of my nonsense. He laughed and walked away. I had to end my shenanigans after the third victim. She yelled so loud when I jumped through the opening flaps that a couple people came running to see what on earth had just happened. We laughed so hard though.
Before you judge me, remember this. Life is too damn short. There is an inner child in each of us. When was the last time you let him or her out to play?

*Survey*

2/26/20

Today I made a quick trip to the store for Dr. Scholl’s heel support cushions for my tennis shoes. Yep…that makes me feel OLD!!! I began walking this week outside after work. Feels so good to have the sunshine on my face and breathe in fresh air after being locked away all winter. I’m going to try to get that summer body I haven’t had since I was 16. HA! Regardless, it still feels good to get those muscles moving after hours of sitting at my desk each day.
With my new daily walking routine, my heels have been killing me, especially when I get out of bed in the morning. So, I knew I needed heel cushions in my shoes if I am to continue this quest of walking miles to trim off my extra layer of winter blubber before summer’s arrival.
I walked through the automatic sliding doors of the store. Upon entry, a sixty-year-old woman on a mission of putting products back on the shelf whisked around an aisle end. I admired her haste as she moved around quickly, seeming to plant an item back on the shelf to her left and right as she moved around.
“How are you doing, today?” she asked. She caught me by surprise as I was occupied with my own daydreams about summer and swimsuits. She didn’t have a dazzling personality and smile, but damn, she had a direct manner about her and stopped to give me her full attention.
“I’m good,” I replied cheerfully, not really knowing yet if I wanted to browse the candy aisle or just get to what I needed. (Yeah, I know, enter an eye roll. I’m on that quest of burning off winter chub, right?) “I’m looking for Dr. Scholl’s heel supports…can you help?”
“Yup, I’ll even walk you there, but I’ll do it slowly if you’re feet hurt.” She had her little basket full of abandoned items and put them away quickly here and there, as we headed to the back of the store. She diligently placed the last item on a shelf before we stopped right in front of the foot care display.
“You shouldn’t be walking around in those if you are having foot pain.” She looked over my cute ankle boots with short heels that I was wearing. She was right. I didn’t argue, either. She put her foot out to the side and showed me her new pair of Aasics. “These are the BEST! I’ll never buy anything else,” she exclaimed proudly. I told her I just bought a pair of Aasics, but my heels were still hurting. I explained I was putting on between 3 and 5 miles per walk.
“Time to shorten the walks, my dear.” She smiled and began straightening some items in disarray.
“Um, I have to lose some weight. You know, Spring is coming. Winter blubber packed itself on.” I laughed and pinched my waist through my jacket. Gave my behind a little slap for emphasis.
She smirked and began walking away to start her next task. She stopped abruptly, then turned around. She pulled her eyeglasses down just a tad so she could look me in the eye. I finally caught sight of her nametag, too. It read ‘Bev’.
“Girl, you are fabulous. FABULOUS. You don’t need to lose any weight, nor do you need to change a thing.” She caught me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting that. It was the nicest thing anyone had said to me all day.
She smiled. Smiled a big smile and gave me a wink. Then, she was off to do something else, leaving me to check out Dr. Scholl’s and his buddies. I smiled to myself. I decided to ditch my negative thinking. Thanks to Bev.
I checked out at the register with my new heel supports and read over my receipt. I noticed a survey link at the bottom, asking me to rate the customer service I had received. I have to admit, I haven’t done many surveys. Maybe I completed two in my life. There were many surveys I meant to take when I encountered a great server or store attendant, but it never happened. Even when I told myself that the customer service I had received deserved to be recognized. I’d lay it on my pile of “to-do’s”, forget about it and before I knew it, the 72 hours would be up, and I would ball it up and throw it right in the garbage can. Not today. Today, I went right home and took the survey.
You know what? By the time I got to the comment section, I was ready to rate and explain why ‘Bev’ deserved recognition. Why she was awesome. I’ve never met Bev prior to this. I met her today. Thanks for making just an ordinary customer like me feel good. I hope this employee is recognized in front of her peers because of my review.
Bev, YOU are the one that is FABULOUS.

Question for my readers: What have you done lately to recognize the good work and efforts of others?

*Time Flies*

2/23/20

Another week and weekend are behind us. Every Sunday night, as I slide in between the sheets around 8pm, I ask myself where the weekend went. We work all week, just to get to Friday, where we can celebrate the birth of a new weekend. Two whole days. Forty-eight hours where we fit in everything we couldn’t or wouldn’t during the week. And yet, it’s never enough. It slips away between our fingertips, leaving us to feel unaccomplished, unrested and dreading Monday. How is this possible?
Do you remember being a kid and how endless the days were? The minutes passed so slowly that the days seemed to go on forever. I fondly remember a particular summer vacation where each day was an adventure. I must have been 9 years old. I would wake up smiling, stretch and not know what the day had in store. I woke up excited! I would get out of bed, brush my teeth, pick out my outfit (color-coordinated, of course!) eat my favorite cereal and head out for the day. Maybe I would go to the park, knock on a friend’s door to see if they could come out to play, make a fort, draw and color, or play dress-up. What wonderful memories! I yearn for days to be as long as those summer days and the ability to greet each day with enthusiasm and seek adventure in it.
The older we get, our minds are filled with the “to do’s”, the lists, the demands, and the commitments of the world around us. At times, it is dizzying trying to keep up and keep track of everything, as the days begin to blend together. I want those endless summer days again.

Question for my readers: How do you manage your time? Most importantly, how do you balance the demands of life with your wants, needs and desires?

*Monday Blues*

2/17/20

The ‘Monday Blues’ seem to wrap their cold, unforgiving arms around me each and every Monday. Why is that? I try to wake up and think positive thoughts. “Hey, it’s a brand-new day and a brand-new week with new opportunities and endless possibilities! Go pursue them, Jen!” I try to say this with much enthusiasm. I turn onto my side and switch on the SAD light on my nightstand (seasonal affective disorder light therapy, in case you were wondering!) and some music. It’s 4:15am. Fifteen minutes before I have to drag myself out of bed and into my morning routine. It helps until I actually leave the house and step foot into my workplace. Then, all of those warm, positive vibes go right out the window. UGH.
I sit at my desk and sulk, wishing I was anywhere but here. I begin to daydream about lounging on a beach, watching the ocean waves crash over and over again and soaking in the sunshine. I’d prefer to be anywhere but here.
It wasn’t until after work that I truly smiled. And, it didn’t take much. It actually caught me by surprise. I stopped at the gas station for Mega Millions and Powerball tickets (yup, I’m going to win the lottery one day) and brought my pre-selected number slips up to the cashier so she could print out my tickets.
“How’s your day going so far?” The girl behind the counter asks this cheerfully AND genuinely before she runs my tickets. She turns her head waiting for me to answer. She’s adorable with curly hair and fashionable glasses and she can’t be any older than 20. “I, um, it’s going okay. Thankfully, my Monday is over,” I respond. Geez, I feel like a little rain cloud amidst her sunshine. She smiles back. “I’ve actually had a good Monday. I got a promotion at my other job.”
In that moment, I realized the power of even a small interaction. I’ve always despised the mundane “Hi, how are you?” and “I’m good” responses in a hurried fashion. The kind where people pass each other in a hallway and just fill the air with emotionless words.
I stopped. I relaxed. There was no line behind me and there was no need to rush. I smiled back. Gave her a big, genuine smile and asked where she worked and what she did. Then, I congratulated her. And, you know what? It felt really good. It felt good to be kind and happy for a person that I didn’t even know.
After a couple of minutes of small talk, I said goodbye to my new cashier friend and walked out to the car. I paused before I opened the door, closed my eyes and took a deep, refreshing breath. Just then, the sun began shining small rays of light from the gloomy sky. I decided then and there that this Monday wouldn’t hold me captive any longer. I hopped in the car and drove off, the music cranked up, my spirits high, singing along with the enthusiasm I had been looking for earlier in the day. It felt good to find it.

Question for my readers: How do you try to make even the smallest interactions a positive experience, even on the gloomiest of days?

*Dreams*

2/13/20

Have you ever had a dream? A dream that no matter how silly you think it is, you cannot stop thinking about it. The type of dream that when you think of it waking up each morning, it makes your heart flutter? It gives you hope going to a job where you do the same repetitive things each and every day. You lack motivation and enthusiasm and you work with people that drive you absolutely nuts. You think about your dream and get excited and envision yourself doing something with passion and changing your life. Maybe even changing the lives of others around you and inspiring them, too?
That’s a dream. Chase it. No matter how far off or impossible it feels. Life is too damn short.
I want to write. Share stories. Even if they are the shortest of stories, I want them to make a positive impact on those that read them. I want to make people smile, laugh and cry. Encourage them to reply “Me, too” and share THEIR stories. Then, we can all connect. We can come together, make new friends, improve our lives and make this world a better place. One story and one person at a time. Because the truth is, each of us is made up of many stories. These stories make us who we are.
(Side note) I also want to be able to quit my job and do this from a lounge chair on the beach with a margarita in hand. I’m not going to lose hope of that, either… :)

Question for my readers: Do you have a dream? What have you done to pursue it when it seems out of reach?